The Dummy
by Invader Anonymous
Summary: Imagine Dib turned into a ten inch ventriloqiust dummy! Imagine Zim trying to tell jokes! Imagine the idiocy of the entire thing and you have mah ficcie! -MIRFLE!-


**Disclaimer:**  I've gone MAD!  MAD WITH MAH MODERATE AMOUNT OF POWER! MUAHAHAHAH-*coffhackchokegag*…A-hem.  Sorry about that.  Anyways…here's a short little spur of the moment I need to get away from mah comic book before I explode and write summore story about…NOTHING!  *Coff *  Yesh…I have a cold.  It's annoying.  WAIIEE!  I've decided to post this story in more of a script format, cuz I'm being lazy.  ^_^   I DON'T OWN INVADER ZIIIIIM!

**DA STORY!**

**Setting:**  A small café.  People are sitting around in their underwear, looking to an empty stage, waiting for the act to begin.  They are banging sporks angrily against their plates chanting something.  Two stools sit in the center of the orange-lit stage.

**Invader Zim:**  **walks onto the stage with a small ventriloquist dummy in one hand**  Hello all you miserable hyooman worm thingies!  This is my friend Dib.  **The dummy waves it's arms around, and it's mouth opens up and down**  OH THIS IS JUST ALL PART OF MY ACT!  Yes, I am SO amazing that I can actually CONTROL the dummy's movements with my MIND.

**Dib Dolly:**  HEEEEEELP MEEEEE!  He's an ALIEEEEN!  AN ALIEEEEEN!!!

**Zim:**  **to the Dib doll in a harsh whisper**  Shut up you pathetic excuse for a primate!  You are NOT going to ruin my quest for this…money…thing you and you're humans need to acquire in order to LIVE!

**Dib:**  **waves arms around, hops out of Zim's arms**  AN ALIEEEEEEN!  LOOK AT HIM!  HE'S GREEN!!!!!!!!

**Zim:**  **grabs the Dummy and sets it on a stool rather promptly**  Yes yes…it's all part of the act.  Now…for some of the "jokes" you impudent creatures think are so hilarious.  Yesyes…*a-hem *  **he fits his hand inside the dummy's head, with much screaming from Dib; Zim puts on a mock voice that is very similar to his own and talks out of sync with the hand movements**  Why did the chicken cross the road?

**Dib:**  BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ALIEEEEN!

**The crowd:**  o.O  What the hell?

**Zim:**  Hmm…excuse me for a moment.  **He rushes off the stage with the Dib doll.  Much screaming and loud machinery is heard from behind the curtains; Zim walks back out with the dummy in hand, a large piece of duct tape is across his mouth**  Now then.  Where were we?  Oh yes.  Why did the chicken cross the road?

**Random bald guy stands up, his underwear riding horribly** _((Audience: UGH!))_**:  **BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR HORRIBLE JOKES!

**Crowd:**  **Laughs, banging sporks on the table in applause**

**Zim:**  *twitch*  NO!  Because-

**A tall skinny lady with long blonde hair stands up and interrupts him:**  YOU SUCK!

**Jhonen Vasquez:  ****slinks out the back door, hoping he is unnoticed because a fan-girl is stalking him, and because Zim is an incapable moron; however adorable he may be!**

**Dib:**  **managed to rip off the duct-tape**  AN ALIEEEEEN!  HE'S AN ALIEEEEEEEN!  

**Zim:**  WAIT NOOOOO!  DON'T LEEEEEAVE!  I haven't told any…JOKES…yet!  **Waves his arms around frantically hopping up and down**  

**Dib:**  **runs around in adorable little Dolly form and smacks into a wall**  EEEEEE!

**The Almighty Tallest:**  Ummm…**they raise invisible eyebrows simultaneously, peering out of a wall transmission in the café**  Where are we? … ZIM?!

**Zim:** **stops strangling the Dib dummy and drops him; he bows**  Yes my tallest?

**Purple:**  What…is THAT?!

**Red:**  Zim…what on IRK are you doing?!

**Zim:**  I'm proceeding with my mission sirs!  All goes well!  Why I eve-**Dib kicks him in the shin** OW!  YOU WRETCHED!  HORRIBLE! LITTLE!  **Zim runs after the ventriloquist Dib yelling hoarsely**

**Purple:**  ….*END TRANSMISSION*

HAHAHAHAHA!  This is called me spontaneously writing a story with NO plot at ALL in less than five minutes!  WOOT!  Kewlness…NOT.  Wow…I'm an idiot.  LoL…this is me on Rice pudding deprivation *whimper*.  MIRFLE!  That's the new phrase of the week…MIRFLE!  Meep!


End file.
